Hometown : ..................not of this world...............

On the last 2 journeys i have been on, it dawned on me that i was enjoying being in the train lesser and lesser.

i loved the scenery outside, only for shorter whiles now.
i did NOT like sleeping on the berth at all, it is so uncomfortable sometimes that only if i was well-fed or too tired could i fall asleep.

i disliked interacting with the crowd, but liked talking to lonely people like me more.
And i solemnly state that i have no inclination towards using the toilets in the train. (i Know, don't even Talk about it !!)

i did write, once upon a time, that whenever i get into a train, i feel like i am at home.
What i wrote then was true. And No, i didnt love the toilets then. i hated the toilets in the train even then.

As i see it, what has happened is the trap of a pleasure becoming a habit.

As a pleasure repeats itself in life, the ability to enjoy it at the same intensity decreases. (i read about this first in The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis).

This truth shows itself in another form in all sorts of addictions; at the beginning of the addiction, you need to have more of the stuff you are addicted to, to maintain the same levels of pleasure you derive from that addiction (it can be anything, any addiction- shopping, speeding, comics, pornography, food.. the list is endless).

So was this true with my case? I think not.

Did i need more train journeys? Surely not. i desired to gaze upon the Goa coastline, to get the blast of the breeze from the backwaters in the Konkan, to play with the wind and the rain, all these things,yes.
All true, but i really didnt like the journeys so much.
But was everything losing its shine?
Or was i just too tired?

Aww Shucks..
Do i not belong here too?

ohh ohh..
Why didn't my joy last on the journey? It used to last! How did my happiness become so ephemeral?
Why do i enjoy lying down on my side-berth, staring at the stars and the Milky Way in the night? Where did this new passion of looking at stars and the moon by the sea spring from?

And as i think of this, my train of thoughts stops at the Bible station.
Shucks.. is the Bible that true?
Do i really don't belong here? Am i a citizen of a different hometown? A stranger,just passing through?


Like that song by U2, is it a place 'Where the Streets have No Name' ?

Why do i feel that i am on a journey to eternity? When did i become a pilgrim?

Whatever i feel..my feelings need not be true. But since i know the truth, let the truth be known. Here you go Hometown...


Hometown : Not of this world.